a convenient place for excess thoughts

An Open Letter to Steven Spielberg

Hi Steven,

Can you please stop direct­ing films that have Ger­man sol­diers in them. It is a prob­lem with the baby boomer gen­er­a­tion but any­one born post 1960 just doesn’t care about them. You on the other hand, appear to have a bizarre fas­ci­na­tion, some might say a fetish with our grey uni­formed Deutsche chums.

Here is your fil­mog­ra­phy and evi­dence of the amount of panzer based non­sense you’ve inflicted upon us all. Maybe you just like their motor­bike side­cars and the hel­mets, I don’t know, but for your remain­ing years, could you please move on.

Please also avoid aliens as well.

Duel — big truck chases a man (alle­gory for das boot vs the allied solider)
Some­thing Evil — some demon non­sense
The Sug­ar­land Express — US based thriller
Jaws — Ger­man made shark ter­rorises local com­mu­nity
Close Encoun­ters of the Third Kind — aliens with theme tune
1941 — have a guess what this refers to.. yup… Zee Ger­mans!
Raiders of the Lost Ark — Nazis abound
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial — Elliot har­bours Ann Frank from Nazis on Hal­loween
Twi­light Zone: The Movie — sci-fi thriller
Indi­ana Jones and the Tem­ple of Doom — Nazis are back with shriv­eled faces
The Color Pur­ple — Whoopi!
Empire of the SunWWII with Japan­ese instead of Nazis — sub­tle
Indi­ana Jones and the Last Cru­sade - MORE NAZIS
Always — “com­edy“
Hook — more com­edy
Juras­sic Park — British / Amer­i­cans colonise island, Nazi dinos fight back
Schindler’s List — seri­ous Nazi Nazi film, with Nazis
Amis­tad — Matthew McConaughey begins annoy­ing movie goes world­wide
The Lost World: Juras­sic Park — Nazi dinos stage full scale US inva­sion
Sav­ing Pri­vate Ryan — More Nazis attack
A.I. Arti­fi­cial Intel­li­gence — swear the end­ing needed more Nazis
Catch Me If You Can — lol
Minor­ity Report — total­i­tar­ian police state, much like another Euro­pean state I once knew
The Ter­mi­nal — “com­edy“
War of the Worlds — stu­pid flu-ridden (Nazi) aliens stage inva­sion of US
MunichWWII guer­rilla spy drama set 30 years after WWII
Indi­ana Jones and the King­dom of the Crys­tal SkullZEE NAZIS ARE BACK!!!
War Horse — Ger­man sol­diers abound, pre­quel to your many other Nazis films

So 10/28 films are about Nazis… it’s 2012.… it’s been 67 years… one year older than you Steven. Let’s leave it now. I beg you. War Horse was by the num­bers dri­vel, and we all know you only took the chance so you could get your Ger­man sol­dier fix. Why not join a reen­act­ment group, live the past instead of inflict­ing it upon us time and time again.


ITV dredges up Titanic for show no one wanted

And lo’ ITV has decided that what the peo­ple want is more period drama bol­locks. Not con­tent with Down­ton Abbey and its incred­i­ble propen­sity for expo­si­tion [“Oh golly, I can’t be upstairs, I’m a ser­vant and I can’t be on this floor. — Yes, you bet­ter get back down before his Lord­ship finds out.”] they have com­mis­sioned an utter utter by the num­bers pile of wank in Titanic, some­thing they claim is:

Scripted by Julian Fel­lowes the ‘esteemed’ writer behind equally expo­si­tion­tas­tic Gos­ford Park, Titanic tells the story we’ve all heard 34892734 times. Many destroyed James Macaroon’s ver­sion — but Cap­tain, I’ve counted the lifeboats and there don’t seem to be enough — but at least it put to bed any need to tell it again.

The prob­lem with the trailer is that it tells the entire story and negates the need for watch­ing the tripe when it goes live to rap­tur­ous applause and inevitable Twit­ter trend­ing great­ness. NB: All pic­tures have been anno­tated as the source mate­r­ial is incred­i­bly complex.

First up, he’s the arro­gant ship pilot:

Then, the inevitable unlike­able rich:

Obvi­ously, tak­ing a leaf out of DiCappuccino’s poor char­ac­ter, here’s this show’s poor man:

Unfor­tu­nately, expo­si­tion storms back with the girl he bumps into inform­ing him not to use those stairs again. You can guaran­damn­tee that at least 80% of the Tele­vi­sion Event of 2012 will be spent explain­ing the rather fuck­ing obvi­ous class struc­ture of the time. But in case it isn’t abun­dantly clear here are some pho­tos of rich peo­ple not respect­ing the women&children clas­sic, poor trapped like cat­tle and a mil­i­tary man los­ing his shit.

Why would ITV waste the money on this toi­let? There are so many scripts out there, but ITV some­how always get it wrong. Get ready for April when every­one dies on a ship hit by an ice­berg. Tak­ing bets on the final shot being a slow pan out of the bod­ies in the water with a cow­bell inter­mit­tently ring­ing along­side a slow piano.

ITV; refus­ing to break the mold for decades on end. Catch the trailer here

Taiwan Food Attack Part 3 — Snacking

Per­haps the clos­est the Tai­wanese get to a national dish is Beef Noo­dle Soup but even this isn’t eaten uni­ver­sally as many of the country’s Bud­dhists won’t eat beef. Instead the coun­try has a vast snack­ing cul­ture where you can buy all man­ner of street food for next to no money. Unlike Japan, which spe­cialises in intri­cate pre­sen­ta­tion, the Tai­wanese care lit­tle about how things look. Mak­ing sure the food tastes great is the main pri­or­ity as com­pe­ti­tion for busi­ness is so fierce owing to the fact that barely any­one cooks at home.

Case in point is the oys­ter omelet. Oys­ters, eggs, spring onions, a lit­tle spice sound great, but when it looks like this, would you order it?

Then there is the fried food. If this ever fell into the wrong hands (Amer­i­cans), the con­se­quences would be dire. Heart dis­ease would no doubt tre­ble overnight with the result­ing deaths extend­ing into the hun­dreds of thou­sands. The main threat comes from Pai Ke which is on paper just bat­tered chicken but is one of the most addic­tive foods out there. The thick bat­ter is both spicy, a lit­tle sweet and ultra crunchy and when com­bined with suc­cu­lent chicken is a heart attack in a paper bag. Approach with cau­tion.
Matches up to the Double Down
Accom­pa­ny­ing the Pai Ke or Ji Pai are fried sweet potato, mush­room, taro (squidgy great­ness) and tem­pura. Tem­pura in Tai­wan dif­fers to the Japan­ese bat­tered prawns, by instead tak­ing the prawn and mash­ing it up with the flour. Then the result­ing splodge is cooled, chopped up and then deep fried. The end result is a airy light crispy shell that becomes slightly chewy when eaten. Tossed with light chilli, it is as moor­ish as pop­corn. Again, all of these fried foods are no good in any way but are per­fect when eaten after a long day with a beer or two.
Just the right amount of sodium and cholesterol
Then there are the more tra­di­tional of Chi­nese snacks; the meat buns, the dumplings, pan­cakes and some kind of mys­tery meat and rice.
Assorted health risks
Finally these lit­tle hot cakes can be filled with cus­tard, taro or red bean but really if you’re devi­at­ing from the cus­tard ver­sion, you’re doing it wrong.
Little parcels of happiness -- weep weep
It’s easy to graze in Taiwan :)

Stardash Review

I’m pretty sure that Orange Pixel, the mak­ers of Star­dash, watched the Youtube videos of a game called Ass­hole Mario (see here), a home­brew ver­sion of the Nin­tendo clas­sic with an insane amount of cheap tricks and nigh on impos­si­ble dif­fi­culty.
Star­dash is tough, real tough but the stages are no longer than 35 sec­onds long mean­ing the bite­sized lev­els won’t drive you insane if you die towards the end of a stage. And die you will, very very often. The chal­lenge comes in that there are no power-ups at all and if touch any bad guy you die (unless you jump on them). In this respect it’s just like Super Meat Boy in that you’re given infi­nite lives to beat a stage. In each level there are two stars to be earned. One for fin­ish­ing it in a strict time limit and one for col­lect­ing all the coins scat­tered through­out the level. In order to beat the time limit means you’re encour­aged to run full-pelt through the level like Sonic, tim­ing jumps to per­fec­tion to beat the stage. But there is no penalty if the time runs out, allow­ing you to col­lect the coins at will to earn the other star. Each world has eight stages and in each stage is also a hid­den key that opens up a tem­ple level if all keys are col­lected in a world. Find­ing these keys requires a lot of trial and error and brings even more depth to the game.
Good luck making that jump
The physics are spot on so you can rarely blame the game if you die, though hit detec­tion is, on rare occa­sions, a lit­tle off. My only gripe with the game is that while the style is pur­pose­fully 8-bit/Gameboy, it would be nice to have the game in colour. Star­dash is fan­tas­tic, a true plat­form­ing gem that will make you bet­ter at games if you can grab all the stars and unlock all the lev­els. I’m cur­rently at 88% and am using all spare time to press on ahead. Inde­pen­dent games like this should be sup­ported and event though the game is free on Android, I want to buy the paid ver­sion as it is just so good.

Taiwan Food Attack Part 2

Day Two and we went to my girl­friend Wynn’s step-dad’s Japan­ese restau­rant. The food was spec­tac­u­lar, start­ing with assorted sashimi, fol­lowed by more appe­tis­ers, then Cal­i­for­nia rolls and pos­si­bly the best ever sushi cre­ated; Grilled Hal­ibut Nigiri.
nom nom nomIs scallop lip a word? o.O
Not sure of a bet­ter trans­la­tion for Scal­lop Lips… sound gross, taste ace.
California Rolls and Grilled Halibut Nigiri
This is one rare type. Accord­ing to research if you’re Amer­i­can it’s likely to be Sum­mer Floun­der, while the Japan­ese call it Hirame. Whichever type you get, ensure that it is roasted before­hand with crème brûlée torch. This not only warms the sushi, but gives it a creamy tex­ture that puts it at the very top of the sushi pile, on par with grilled eel. Hon­estly, once you’ve tried it, you’ll never be able to go back. In most Japan­ese restau­rants they don’t offer it as it is very expen­sive, but you can get a sim­i­lar effect by ask­ing the chef to grill salmon sushi instead. Def­i­nitely rec­om­mended.
Crab Soup
Sizzling Chicken
Prawn Tempura
Abalone Soup
Sizzling Beef Fillet
So after a bunch of dishes (includ­ing what can only be described as a huge bowl of unscram­bled eggs with six crabs) and much fam­ily catch up one of the cousin’s boyfriends got into a dis­cus­sion with Wynn’s uncle. Now this guy is the arche­typal seen it all before cop. He’s a chain smok­ing, whisky drink­ing force of nature. Four years ago, the first time I met him at a Chi­nese New Year meal he sat next to me and with a few Eng­lish words made it clear he wasn’t some­one to be messed with. The words were “me… national box­ing cham­pion… go police… heli­copter… mp5.. dakka dakka dakka.” He fin­ished the night try­ing to drink me under the table but while I sipped he knocked them down like only a cop in Hong Kong movie could before stum­bling into another party’s table and fright­en­ing the beje­sus out of them.

Back to the meal and I turned my head to be greeted with this:
Cop Versus Boy

The young boy pro­ceeded to punch his clenched fist once or twice, laugh­ing unaware of the pain com­ing his way. The uncle then told him it was his turn so the boy, just out of uni, held his hand out. The uncle then pro­ceeded to pound the shit out of this guy’s fist, pam pam pam. The boy, try­ing to hold his shit together kept smil­ing and asked his friend to try it. The uncle then went to town on the boy’s friend and I’m pretty sure both went to hos­pi­tal the day after. Of course, thanks to face cul­ture, nei­ther could show their pain so just laughed it off, but if this was a movie you know they’d be plot­ting their revenge in a fake call out to an alley where they’d be wait­ing with pipes. But instead, we all just went back to fruit.

Fruit Platter

Taiwan Food Attack Part 1

Tai­wan sits at the heart of Asia with a com­plex his­tory of own­er­ship and coloni­sa­tion. Thank­fully, despite much polit­i­cal wran­gling, there has been peace for the best part of 60 years which has allowed the island to flour­ish eco­nom­i­cally and get on with the more impor­tant busi­ness of feed­ing its inhab­i­tants. Sit­ting so cen­trally in Asia has meant that all man­ner of cuisines have made it over to the tiny island from Japan­ese and Korean to the many regions in China, Thai, Indone­sian, Malay and Indian. Plus with the Amer­i­can mil­i­tary pres­ence and seiz­ing of Amer­i­can cul­ture, there are count­less gourmet burger din­ers to give you that fix when you want to play at being a 400lb superstar.

There are a lot of things sound utterly dis­gust­ing, but once com­bined (smoth­ered) in the right sauce or cooked in the cer­tain way become del­cious edi­ble. Things like chicken testes, eaten for luck at a wed­ding, or pigs’ ears or even stom­ach lin­ing. Of course these “del­i­ca­cies” aren’t the norm so there won’t be many freak out dishes from my jour­ney back to Tai­wan but hope­fully will give you an idea of what can be found here.

First up, just after my girl­friend and I touched down in Tai­wan was a trip to a Re Chow (熱炒) place. These restau­rants are crazy pop­u­lar, in which din­ers gen­er­ally sit under a shel­tered roof to enjoy meal long into the night while watch­ing peo­ple going home after work, drink­ing lots of beer in tiny glasses. The first dish arrived; pig’s blood soup with intes­tine. Pig’s blood is much like black pud­ding, but here it’s squidgy instead. The intes­tine tastes like you’d imag­ine it would… sweaty though the soup masked the funk well.

Thank­fully after this, we were onto clams cooked with gar­lic, chilli and gin­ger, along­side deep fried prawns, pineap­ple and er… hun­dreds and thou­sands. The Tai­wanese love the sweet/salty com­bi­na­tion and this is one dish guar­an­teed to edge you closer to a heart attack.We fin­ished up with a fried squid, basil and mush­rooms and a soup. Not a bad start for day one.

Saving the UK Newspaper Industry

The sim­plest way to save jobs and pro­tect the qual­ity of edi­to­r­ial con­tent is to charge read­ers. How­ever if a poorly imple­mented online pay­wall is installed as that by The Times, it is appar­ent that read­ers sim­ply stop engag­ing with that online edi­tion and move else­where for news. The FT has a strong online sub­scrip­tion ser­vice, as does the Wall Street Jour­nal but one could imag­ine that if The Star tried to charge for online con­tent, it would rapidly lose the major­ity of its ad click revenue.

The per­fect solu­tion to this, and very easy to imple­ment is a col­lec­tive deal encom­pass­ing all daily titles from all media groups for online con­tent. This com­pletely stre­alines the process and because read­ers do accept that jour­nal­ists need to be paid and news­pa­pers have costs to face it would work. Plus one pay­ment for all media sim­pli­fies every­thing, mean­ing a reader only needs one account.

You would then split the pot of rev­enue accord­ingly. 50% of the pot is shared amongst all titles equally. The remain­ing 50% is divided by the traf­fic each online edi­tion receives. Look­ing at the table below the total unique vis­i­tors per month for all titles is 28,431,000 so the Mail Online, with 6,645,000 UVPM would take around 23% of the total set aside for online traffic.

MailOn­line 6,645,000 (Unique Vis­i­tors Per Month)
Guardian 4,622,000
Tele­graph 4,394,000
The Sun 2,916,000
Newsquest Media 2,877,000
Trin­ity Mir­ror 2,427,000
The Inde­pen­dent 1,693,000
The Times/The Sun­day Times 1,211,000
Lon­don Evening Stan­dard 693,000
Daily Express 408,000
Daily Star 356,000
Econ­o­mist 189,000

Et Voila, the UK news­pa­per indus­try is saved. If the 9,792,974
peo­ple that bought papers for Sep­tem­ber
had instead paid £5 a month for the ser­vice, then the each paper would have got around £1.75 mil­lion pounds through the shared pot, the low­est ranked paper an extra £160k and the high­est £5.72 million.

At just £5 a month this brings around £50 mil­lion a month or around £600 mil­lion a year. Peo­ple would pay £5 a month for access to all UK nation­als. I will take a 1% com­mish for the idea, thank you and good night

This week in food pt1

It’s been a great week for my belly. Three restau­rants, lots of mar­ti­nis and a kebab. First up last Sun­day was Dong San, an excel­lent Korean restau­rant in Soho. Pop­u­lated exclu­sively by Kore­ans read­ing the Sun­day papers, sip­ping beer and snack­ing on BBQ, Dong San needs to be vis­ited immediately.

On the far left, the most suc­cu­lent beef this side of the 38th Par­al­lel called some­thing like Gaubi. Then a great grilled eel sushi roll (Grilled eel is a manda­tory pur­chase when­ever you see it on a menu) fol­lowed by a seafood rice cake, which doesn’t look like a rice cake and is more like a span­ish omelette. The red soup was ultra spicy tofu and on the far right, mus­sel some­thing some­thing with a really tast squidgy thing.

Dong San
47 Poland Street

Next up Japan­ese curry at home my girl­friend made. 2 potato, 3 car­rot, 2 onion and the meat of your choice. boil all with sea­son­ing, then add the curry cube. Serve with lychee martinis.

Fri­day was a trip to Bus­aba Eathai in Old Street with old friends. Deli­cious as usual — Thai Cala­mari, Pad Thai, Creen Curry, Spicy prawn, chilli beef yummmmmmmmmm.

Sat­ur­day brought about a return to tra­di­tion with Dim Sum at Impe­r­ial China. This is one of the best places to get your yum cha fix in Lon­don. Part 1 was char sui bao, prawn chen fung, luo bu gau, xiao long bao, crispy squid (mis­take >.<) and ho fun.

We’d been search­ing for our lost cat in bat­tersea dogs home and had gone for a walk with the dog in Alexan­dra Palace so our appetites had got­ten a lit­tle away from us. After wolf­ing down the dim sum, we stum­bled punch drunk head long into part 2.

Quite why they gave me a fork I’ll never know, and aside from a delight­ful mis­un­der­stand­ing with my girl­friend, a really really good meal.

Impe­r­ial China
25A Lisle St

Finally Sun­day was steak, roast pota­toes and roast sweet pota­toes with grilled aspara­gus and red wine mush­room sauce (I’d call it a reduc­tion but I’m not a ****).

Next week, Poland, Jew­ish New Year and … er.… kebab?

Recipe of the week: Roast Sphinx

This isn’t long­pig but it’s not far off and is sure to impress despots and mani­acs in equal mea­sure. In a world of increased knowl­edge of world cui­sine, chefs like hes­ton blu­men­thal have resorted to con­vinc­ing peo­ple that offal, ear and hoof are the height of fine din­ing. but alas with so many tv chefs and shows it is hard to dif­fer­e­ni­ate unless you’re that bald guy who eats tarun­tu­las and fer­til­ized eggs that have feath­ers and beaks so what to do? well, like a good friend said go big go huge so here it is, the lat­est must sam­ple dish for all you food­ies out there.Dinner time!

Roast Sphinx

In Greek mythol­ogy the Sphinx has a body of a lion, the wings of a bird and the bust and head of woman. Now while at first glance it may seem a lit­tle tricky to source these ingre­di­ents, a true gourmet rev­els in the challenge.


1 x Lion
1 x Swan
1 x Female Torso
500g Salt
300g Mus­tard Seeds
10kg Flour
2L Water
Hand­ful of cloves


It would be pru­dent to cook the Sphinx away from pry­ing eyes so why not wind the clock back to the 1700s to under­take your very own Grand Tour. Morons con­tin­u­ally point out that catch­ing your own meat will make it taste bet­ter but the truth is, it’s the taboo that makes it bet­ter. Der­ren Brown proved this with shoplift­ing. And noth­ing says taboo like hunt­ing lion, well… maybe bolt­ing on a human torso but well… onwards!

1) Pro­cure swan — cur­rent research sug­gests an abun­dance in Regents Park, Hyde Park and Hamp­stead Heath. For­get that non­sense about swans hav­ing the strength to break your arms, their no match for a mal­let, chain­saw or drill­bit. Remem­ber we only need the wings so if there is some buck­shot to the body or decap­tion with a broadsword don’t fret. Alter­na­tively slaugh­ter in a humane with a rabbi present to give it that kosher flavour (I say flavour as swans aren’t kosher, but if the rabbi sees you killing a swan, he’ll prob­a­bly bless it once you out­line the wider recipe and he just wants to make it home to the wife). Now as many peo­ple know, it’s pretty much ille­gal to kill swans in the UK, but you can just about get away with it if you deliver the remain­ing parts to the Wor­ship­ful Com­pa­nies of Vint­ners and Dyers once you’ve care­fully removed the wings and bung them a fiver or two.

2) Fly to Doc­tor Congo and go big game hunt­ing. Kill Mufasa. Skin and treat the hide using your arti­san skills to receive a bonus rug. Remove head and sell to the gen­try who will no dout be the talk of the town. Gut the innards, sell to Chi­nese med­i­cine quacks and/or home­opa­thy lunatics.

3) Get sev­ered female torso — unfor­tu­nately, you might have to buy a bulk pur­chase as it’s touch dif­fi­cult to find just a torso. There aren’t many recipes involv­ing the lower half of a body but just think of it as one of those obscure erbz that Jamie Oliver forces you to buy (fen­nel seeds par exam­ple — cur­rently rot­ting in 7.2 mil­lion homes around the UK). Rec­om­mend locat­ing to the bor­der of a wartorn coun­try… per­haps that rabbi can set you up some­thing nice on the edge of the Gaza Strip and Egypt. In fact that way, by eat­ing your roasted sphinx on the Egypt­ian bor­der you can really do your part for inter­na­tional diplomacy.


1) Pre­pare the meat by sea­son­ing it with salt and if you like ten­deris­ing with a base­ball bat.

2) score a few lines across the body and place a lit­tle but­ter and rose­mary inside. Repeat with cloves and mark where that sec­tion is, so you can give that part to the doubt­ing dorises who frown upon your quixotic desire to sam­ple the mythical.

3) Now, lions being car­ni­vores and incred­i­bly active will mean their meat will be very tough. To counter this we’re going be cook­ing it in the style of beef welling­ton. Not only will this encase the meat pro­tect­ing it from becom­ing impos­si­blly tough, but the cooked pas­try will cre­ate the effect that lion still has its skin. The insides will be just like pulled pork. You can find an excel­lent beef welling­ton recipe her which will allow you to wrap the lion perfectly.

4) Given the size of the beast why not use one of the many burn­ing trucks adorn­ing the Gaza Strip as a make shift oven. You want to wait until the blaze is under con­trol and then just pop it in the back for 5 hours at 180 degrees.

Final Prepa­ra­tion

1) rope in a few med stu­dents on the premise of prac­tic­ing their sutur­ing skills. hoist the torso to the front and watch them go to work stich­ing the cooked meat to the flesh. think human cater­pil­lar with­out the implications.

2) Repeat with the wings, but why not give a fledg­ing seam­stress the oppor­tu­nity to prac­tice her tailoring.

3) Posi­tion the dish in your choice of pose. Whether you make the sphinx run or rear­ing up to attack, don’t for­get to have a pro­fes­sional enbalmer on hand to give the corse that last minute touch up. Your guests will appre­ci­ate your devo­tion to finesse.

Serve with greens and a glass of chi­anti. Heres to you, cheers!

Next week; mermaids!

True Grit Yawnfest

Months late to the party here’s my take on True Grit, the multi-nominated west­ern that is the same as every other west­ern ever released. Oh my days, why is every­thing so brown and arid in all these films. It’s always so fuck­ing brown. You know there’s a point where the girl is try­ing to con­vince Jeff Bridges to go find her daddy’s killer that the only colour in a room full of junk is tan. It’s like I’m watch­ing some kid who’s just dis­cov­ered the sepia set­ting on his first dig­i­tal cam­era. Obvi­ously got to the Coen broth­ers as they lost it, added a drunk den­tist dressed in half a bear dur­ing snow­fall to break the monot­ony in an overly drawn out scene that aided noth­ing.

The plot is much the same as all west­erns. Some shit has gone down, some one has to track down a killer. Thank­fully they do it with­out any cliches like foot­prints or bro­ken twigs. Only prob­lem is that the bad guy turns out to be a moron, which I guess is a state­ment on unfair­ness found in life but it doesn’t make for grip­ping cin­ema. I semi-remember watch­ing one west­ern where the bad guy walks into a woman’s home, steals her husband’s money and has her make him break­fast. All the while she’s ter­ri­fied. The hus­band comes home, the bad guy kills him in front of the wife, he fin­ishes his break­fast, kills the wife and departs the house leav­ing a cry­ing unat­tended baby who surely will also die. That’s a bad guy. This film lacked one.
Man Bear Pig?
And why did Jeff have to kill the horse. He returns to save the girl after about ten min­utes. There is a shot of him with two horses just before he returns and he’s lead­ing an extra horse. They could have just rid­den back to where he left it and rode home safely. But i guess, as Wynn says, every­one in the films needs to get shot at least once.

It was brown, the girl’s char­ac­ter was very good, the plot and the rest were just another run of the mill west­ern. Don’t know quite why it was raved about. In clos­ing, I couldn’t shift the thought that Hailee Ste­in­feld had Will Smith’s eyes and Jer­maine Jenas’ gorm­less face com­plete with the same front tooth gap.